The internet is dead.
Log in to your favorite social media platform and tell me I’m wrong. That’s right. You can’t.
These days, we’re all just picking through the wreckage, now littered with the husks of abandoned profiles and algorithms gone mad. People tell me it’s coming. Friend, it’s already happened. The internet, once a beloved wild frontier of human thought and interaction, has become a graveyard populated only by the buzzards of AI chatbots, scammers, and content scrapers.
The theory itself? It whispers that by some unmarked point in time, the genuine human chatter of the internet was drowned out by a cacophony of artificial noise generated by an ever-widening Von Neumannian feedback loop of digital insanity in which shitbots build content for shitbots to comment on and build content about for other shitbots to comment on, and so on. The real humans, still clinging to our wits, are now just background noise, occasional flashes of life in a sea of automated advertisements and clickbait generated on-the-fly by scripts for the sole purpose of serving up more ads.
Now our miraculous handheld witchcraft radiates the addictive neon glow of a thousand automated posts, each one more soulless than the last. The comments, the news, the memes—they’re all crafted not by the hand of man but by cold, unfeeling algorithms designed to keep you scrolling, clicking, and buying. It’s like a bad acid trip where you can’t tell what’s real, where the line between human and machine blurs into a nightmare and spins off into the void.
And the evidence? It’s all around us, if you look close enough. The uncanny valley of social media profiles, the bizarre, almost too-targeted ads, the way conversations on forums loop back on themselves with no apparent human intervention. It’s like we’re all extras in a film directed by some unseen hand, our roles written by predictive text. This is by design. We are dancing for their amusement.
So here we are, in this brave new world, where the internet feels less like a playground and more like a graveyard where the ghosts of human interaction are just memories in an AI-driven echo chamber. And if you’re not terrified by that, well, you’re either part of the machine or just too damn high to care.
I remember well the earliest days of the internet, the days when it was wild, weird, and undeniably human. Here’s to hoping we can find our way back, or at least, to figuring out where the hell we’ve landed in this twisted digital journey.
But until then, seriously- I hope Mark Zuckerberg gets raped by rabid zombie pitbulls.